The above was a direct quote from my wonderful wife as she sits next to me watching people totally fall off bikes and faint from weddings from America’s Funniest Videos on YouTube.

Just thought you all should know.

At the early time of 4:23am this morning, I was suddenly awakened by my wonderful wife, slumbering beside me, ferociously laughing out loud.  In fact, she was laughing so hard that no sound was coming out, save the occasional snort (and snort she did, four times)!

“What’s so funny?” I managed to mumble out.

Amidst more non-stop laughter, Renée managed to get out, “My mom… she’s… a hippopotamus!”

Of course, I was amused at this, smiling as I tried to go back to sleep.  But it was what Renée said next that made me laugh out loud:

“I feel… so sorry for her… … … sorta!”

The other night, for whatever reason, I awoke in the middle of the night.  Trying to fall back asleep, I heard Renée mutter something in her sleep.

Now, as everyone knows by now, this is not an uncommon occurrence in our household.  Some of the most memorable one-liners [known to man] have happened via Renée sleep-talking.  Usually, I smile, try and remember what she said (because I know she won’t), and then drift back to sleep.

Poke.

This time was different.  “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

Poke.

“Why aren’t you answering me?  I’m talking to you!”

Poke.

By now, I’m trying to contain my laughter over the fact that I have now been poked three times by Renée—in her sleep!  Of course, she’s very upset in her dream that whoever she was talking to was not answering her, but she just happened to poke me outside of the dreamworld.

Here we are, just two days ago, wearing our shorts and watering our irises in the back yard. Well we went downtown to breakfast this morning, and by the time we got home – big, fat snowflakes were falling! So instead of wearing shorts, we’re bundled up in fleece and sipping hot chocolate! Crazy.

A Marine was attending a college course between missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. The professor, an avowed atheist, shocked the class one day when he walked in, looked toward the ceiling, and said loudly, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes.”

The lecture room fell silent and the professor began his lecture. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, “Here I am God - still waiting.”

It got down to the last minute when the Marine stood up, walked toward the professor and threw his best punch knocking him off the platform and out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat down. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.

The professor came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine , “What is the matter with you? Why did you do that?”

The Marine calmly replied, “God is busy today protecting America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to behave like an idiot, so He sent me.”

“Borrowed” from David Mozley

Scott shared this equation with us not too long ago, and it made me laugh so I thought I’d share it:

First, the facts:

girls = time * money

We know that

time = money

so

girls = money²

We all know that

money = sqrt(evil)

Thus,

girls = (sqrt(evil))²

reducing to

girls = evil

Can’t get much more mathematical than that!
So today is our last wedding of the season, Miss Courtney tyin’ the knot! Yeah baby. I suppose we’ll have nothing to talk about until summer 2008 when all these couples start having kids! Anyway, my mind is jumping all over the place, but this is what we did last night:

We watched a really great movie in the life of Martin Luther (Luther, 2003, starring Joseph Fiennes). It was refreshing to see a movie for once that involved a character of conviction who sought to know God through scripture. We’ve all learned about Luther in our history classes, but the movie brought it to life. It’s quite amazing, really, how he brought about religious freedom and changed things forever. Some of the lines Luther had struck me to the core. Obviously it’s not a full account, but overall a worthwhile movie to watch. Makes me want to further my studies.

Father’s Day is around the corner, and I just happened to come across some quotes from Bill Cosby, my favorite TV dad. So I thought I’d list some of them, just because they make me laugh.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

When you become senile, you won’t know it.

My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”